In the past I did things because I pretended they were supposed to, because I was afraid of the judgment of others. Now I know I was afraid of rejection. Rejection for who I am, for what I stand for and for what I believe in. I realize as I get older that it is MY life and I have to take responsibility for choices and paths I take. I want to show that I do matter. If this is something that raises eyebrows or amazes my surroundings, then my goal has been achieved and I feel that I am alive.